Bacon, maple and coffee jam

A recipe for something extraordinary to dollop on your festive turkey

Dollop.

Now that’s a fine word, isn’t it?

A spoonful of rich, sweet smoky stickiness, gathered in a great treacly ball on the end of a spoon, dolloped onto the plate with a flick of the wrist.

You could just eat it with a spoon

If you decide to make what I’m about to put into words here for you, I guarantee you’ll be dolloping away with gay abandon all through Christmas—great spoonfuls of it. You’ll probably have to make another batch.

As an accompaniment to roast turkey, it is a revelation. With glazed ham, utterly delicious. Melted cheese on toast, (that British curiosity) will happily accept a slathering of the bacony goodness as well. If you are unaccustomed to the joys of bacon relish, then you are in for a treat. It is the sort of thing you might find yourself thinking about for a brief waking moment at three am, finding yourself needing to take the dog out, or some other such confected nonsense as an excuse to go to the fridge to indulge in a spoonful or two.

In a world of smashed avocado and raw vegetable juice, a plate of crisp smoked bacon and a pot of strong freshly brewed black coffee are wonderful. They are excellent companions. In various guises, bacon will brighten up the most miserable of days. Strong black coffee in numerous shots, whether an espresso or in a mug will happily see me through the most dismal of mornings.

And then we throw everything on its head and make jam from them instead.

A few weeks back, I wrote about how you might make a chunk of your own smoked bacon in a two-part essay. Part one explained the curing process, and then after a cliffhanger of a weekend, Part two dealt with smoking it. You could certainly start that process this coming week and have a batch of marvellous savoury jam, made with your own smoked bacon ready for Christmas. You could also go to a good butcher and buy a chunk of something decent and make it tomorrow if you like.

I’ll leave that to you.

Ready for dolloping

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Bacon Jam

A fine way to spend an hour or so of your morning in the kitchen, especially when it’s miserable weather outside. It is a simple recipe that requires no hard work, just the patience to keep stirring a pot to prevent the caramelising mass from burning. And the glorious smell of sizzling bacon will awaken your soul.

You will need

500 g bacon, cut into small dice

1 large red onion, finely sliced

Half a butternut squash, peeled and diced

1 clove garlic, crushed

A sprig of thyme

1 teaspoon crushed black pepper

1 small chunk of butter

120 g brown sugar

80 ml maple syrup

75 ml cider vinegar

1 tsp Aleppo pepper or something else hot

2 shots of espresso coffee

Getting started

The stickiness

How to

• In a medium-sized saucepan, something wide with a heavy base, cook the diced bacon until it is crispy. When it is ready and you can’t stop picking at it, remove it with a slotted spoon into a bowl, leaving the bacon fat in the pan.

  Don’t even think about pouring away the fat. This is an invisible flavour bomb.

• Add the sliced onions to the bacon fat and cook, stirring often until they are caramelised. This will take around twenty or so minutes on low to medium heat. You want them to be soft and deeply coloured, so try not to catch the pan and if you do, make sure you remove any burned bits, for they will make the relish bitter.

• Add the garlic and let everything cook together for another few minutes, then add the dice of squash, stirring for a while. The butternut will start to become soft as it gently cooks. This should cook without fear of burning for around fifteen minutes. Add the small chunk of butter and the black pepper, letting everything become nicely acquainted in the pan. You could place a lid ajar on the pot if you wished.

• When everything is soft, pour in the vinegar and let it bubble for a few seconds, then the brown sugar, thyme, maple syrup, espresso coffee and Aleppo pepper. It will bubble and become treacly.

• Add the cooked bacon to the mixture and very gently cook until the liquid has reduced and thickened and the onions are jammy. This might take twenty or so minutes. Do not be tempted to leave the kitchen on a whim, as when you return you may have a pan of burned caramel. Sugary mixtures have the temerity to regularly upset me, so it might be best if you sit down with a coffee and supervise the pan. If everything gets a little too sticky you can always add a little water to loosen everything up.

• When it is gloriously unctuous, transfer it to a bowl and arm yourself with a spoon. Dollop liberally.

Bacon goodness for those dull moments.

Until later this week,

William